The Dress

Your Wedding Gown is probably the most important dress you will ever wear and you will find that everyone has an idea about what makes the perfect wedding dress. Don't be bullied by other peoples opinions: this is the one day when you can be as demure or as outrageous as you wish. Everyone will be on your side on the day anyway; just as everyone loves a new born, they will coo and simper at whatever you choose! So, put your hang-ups away and stop listening to other people's ideas of what constitutes a beautiful dress, ignore disparaging comments about Meringues, Bo-Peep and Ice Queens, and consider what you like and see if it will suit you. You will know when you find it – it will just feel fabulous!

As you go on your quest for the perfect dress, prepare by asking yourself a few questions:

• What do you want to emphasise, and what do you want to hide?
• Which tones suit your colouring? Think about your current wardrobe - do you feel great in white, or do you prefer creamier colours?
• Do you want to look shorter or taller? How tall are you compared to your groom?
• Do you want a plain and unadorned look, or an elaborately decorated look, or somewhere in between?
• Would you prefer a contemporary look, a vintage look (e.g. 1960s) or a mediaeval look?

A-Line or Column Diva?

There are a few key shapes to consider that can make all the difference to the look you want to project. This is a general guide to the type of styles that are traditionally bridal. It will give you a little pause for thought as you look at dresses. It might be wise to try a few different dresses on alone until you decide the general style you want, before you take a supporter. All gowns are amazing when you put them on for the first time, and many a hasty decision has been made by your glassy-eyed supporter being blown away by the sight of you in any wedding dress! So narrow it down to what you think you want, try it on in the size you need, and then take a second opinion with you to confirm this one or that one. If possible see yourself photographed in the dress; it all helps to make sure your decision is right.

Above all, choosing and buying your dress has to be a fun experience and you need to be confident in your choice. Brand new gowns vary vastly in price; anything from £250 - £3000, so it has to be the right dress for you. If you find the style you want falls outside your budget, you could consider buying from the pre-owned market, but there are pros and cons with this. Fashions come and go, but many styles are timeless. Often the style you want will have been made before, or you will find a similar one that you can customise to recreate the look you are seeking. I am surprised by how reluctant people are to change the appearance of an off-the-peg dress; they stick to a particular formula! There are wonderful creations that can be made using extra chiffon, under-netting layers, petticoats to create shape, accessories such as silk flowers or feathering. Bodice laces can be changed from braid to ribbon, and there are many colours available. Layers can be gathered softly to one side to create an apron effect, or skirts can even be narrowed and thinned out to tighten the shape. Billowing sleeves can be removed - the compilations are endless! I like to help brides be completely free in the creation of the dress of their dreams.

Picking a Colour

Think about colours: Diamond White does not suit everyone, and there are many tones to soften the look from Ivory through to Cream; there are tones of colour from pink blush, through apricot, lilac and blue. What colour jewellery do you wear, cool silver or warm gold? Will you be wearing pearls? Think about the dress decoration and make sure that you stick to a theme. Tie in colours and styles to the time of year that the wedding will be taking place; consider the venue and whether it will be indoors or outdoors.

Will you need a warm covering, if the weather is cool? If so, you can consider using a long jacket or a fur stole to go on top of the dress, and remove it when you're in the warm. Alternatively, will you need a lightweight dress for those hot days?

Buying a New Gown

When considering a new gown, the ideal place to browse is in a bridal outlet. Here you will find a stock of all the season's new looks as well as traditional styles, with good advice and guidance from those that have dressed many brides and are best-positioned to give you an honest opinion of what will suit you best. Be prepared to try on gowns that may not be a perfect fit or even in your size as nearly all gowns are made to order, and the samples tend to be a standard size 10—12. Remember that the size label is often misleading as sizes are often smaller fitting than standard clothing sizes. Delivery time can be 4 to 6 months so make sure that you visit in good time. Once your gown arrives, there will be a seamstress on hand to finalise a perfect fit.

Buying a Pre-Owned Gown

When considering a pre-worn gown, there are many aspects to consider

• Has it been shortened, if so where: at the hem or lifted at the waist?
• Has it been physically altered to corrupt the size; e.g. is the top half a size 12 and the bottom half a size 16? When altered to fit individuals it may be difficult to fit to anyone else.
• Was it cleaned immediately after being worn or has it languished dirty in a box for a couple of years? Delicate fabrics do not withstand the acids that are present in perspiration and can look fine until put under any strain, when the fibres pull away at the seams there is no magic repair that can turn back the effect of time.

Considerations when buying from the Internet

Buying from the Internet is effectively buying unseen. There may be an image of the dress, but what guarantees do you have that it will still be as good as it looks? Look at where the photograph is taken; if on grass there may be mud and grass stains along the hem and train. Remember that you are looking at a brand new dress being worn for the first time. Has it been stressed and pushed to the limit, will the bones be bent, will the seams be starting to shred? Has any beading been lost? Wedding dresses are incredibly fragile. Wedding celebrations and lots of hugging and dancing can all damage the delicate needlework. Ask how the dress was stored after the wedding; has it been cleaned? Has it been altered, or shortened, are there any stains? what is the veil condition like? Cigarettes can burn holes in veils without anyone noticing. Are there any food or wine stains? A big dress can brush unseen onto food, if not cleaned immediately then stains cannot easily be removed. Pollen stains from bouquets are a classic example of indelible stains. If buying the shoes remember fabric shoes will not clean - once marked, they are usually beyond repair.

Considerations when Buying Internationally

There are plenty of international manufacturers offering cheaper dresses, but we feel that you should know the pitfalls before you take that option. We turned away many of these dresses when offered for resale in the days when we stocked once-worn or surplus dresses, because they were substandard quality for such an important dress and we wanted nothing to do with them. So here are a few issues that you should be aware of before taking a chance:

• You can't try on ten or twenty dresses beforehand to find the perfect dress to suit you - the dress might look lovely in the photograph on a professional model, but it might not be quite right when you see yourself in it, just because it is made to size does not mean that it will suit you. We find that most of our brides have to try on quite a few differently shaped dresses before they find "the dress".
• The photograph of the dress you see is often not the dress that you buy, but an inaccurate copy.
• The quality of the workmanship is not guaranteed because it is not monitored by experienced dress designers, so you may find that the seams have been finished off shoddily or the whole dress is out of balance, for example, the bodice is slightly deeper on one side than the other.
• You don't know how long it will actually take to be delivered. There are many reasons why delays occur
• You may have to pay import tax or it could get stuck in customs, even lost or damaged in transit.
• You will need to find a seamstress to do any alterations, and you will find that many are unwilling to alter wedding dresses because they are easily marked and too big to handle, even if the fit is OK it is highly likely that you will need it shortening.
• Some suppliers offer a full refund, but often the bulk of the cost is in the postage or shipping and so the refund is usually a very small amount plus it will cost you a fortune to send it back.
• Getting friendly and expert advice from people as you seek your dream dress makes it more fun and enjoyable.
• Very cheap dresses from abroad are often made by paying people low wages, so there is an ethical issue for you to consider.

I'm sure there must be people who have had great success with this, but we have heard so many horror stories that I thought I’d spell out some of the challenges for you so that you are fully informed.

Customising your Gown

There are many ways to add glamour to your wedding dress; silk flowers are a fabulous way to add a touch of drama and can make a plain neckline spectacular if the bridesmaid’s dresses or a bouquet are colour coordinated to match. Accents can be added with beading and trim or a marabou feather here and there and if mirrored in other accessories produces a stunning image. Sashes, ribbons, feathers and silk flowers; tiny rosebuds in your favourite colour added to tie in the colour scheme or find an eye catching exotic corsage. Choose separates from different labels to create an individual look and a perfect fit. You can have such fun, creating a look that is totally unique. Different coloured silk corsets and silky chemise tops available at many high street stores are ideal for both the bride and the bridesmaid, to add an individual splash of colour. Mixing a pre-owned skirt with a corset in coordinate colours for example is a simple cost effective way to make a memorable impact, add a matching silk flower into the drapes of the skirt and the effect can be amazing especially if getting married in an exotic location. Memories of your wedding will last a lifetime and the clothes worn need to be special, let your senses guide you to the image you want to create.

The Ribbons and Pearls Wedding Dress Style Guide

To help you find your perfect dress, we have provided a Style Guide that will help you decide what shape, what sleeve and what neckline to choose. You can then click on the pictures to see all dresses of that style. Show me the Style Guide.

Even more fun than the Style Guide, try out the Ribbons and Pearls Stylomatic! You enter how you feel about all your body features, and it suggests your best dress styles, according to what you want to emphasize or de-emphasize. You can click on each style picture to see all dresses we have in that style.