Weddings on a budget?  We'll show you how!

Weddings - fairytale, formal, large or small; whatever you are planning, they all come with a hefty price tag.  Many parents are still reeling from university support and tremble at the thought of daughter's weddings. How can corners be cut without it seeming mean?  How can a day of days be constructed out of an already exhausted bank account?  And let’s face it, credit doesn't come cheap. Couples trying to finance their own wedding soon find that it's difficult to compromise between the perfect fantasy and a budget based in the realms of reality.  Many people end up spending a minimum of £15,000 on a wedding these days - though they don't plan to in the first place - and £25,000 or more is by no means unusual.  I thought I would show you how we did it with a £10,000 budget - including the honeymoon.

My Story

As founder of Ribbons and Pearls I went through this process in 2004 and found the whole wedding provision leaving a scary void somewhere between £25,000 and not bothering. I met Richard online, both of us having gone around the wedding track once before and with six children to consider between us.  I soon found that the informal “Day to Remember” began to look horrifyingly expensive as numbers multiplied on the first draft list of invitations.

The problems I encountered spurred me into a new business venture to promote the idea of affordable splendour.  I wanted to prove that a wedding day can be planned to fit your dream and your purse - and with 130 guests, a live band and a church blessing complete with choir and bells, I did just that.

After setting the day for 28th August 2004, the work began in earnest to ensure a perfect day.

The Dream

• Big dress
• Top Hat and Tails for Groom
• Tails for Male Supporters
• 3 Bridesmaids
• Good food
• Live Band
• 130 Guests
• Lots of Flowers

The Budget

£10,000

Sourcing the dress           

Wedding Dresses take an unbelievable length of time to order.  Five months seems average!  It was a miserable experience having to choose a dress from a rack of perfect size 10 samples, and imagining how it will look on a size 16, knowing that when it comes if it looks awful there will be no time to reconsider, and so a hefty seamstress charge will apply trying to make it fit.

The pre-owned market seemed risky - either you are faced with an original bride and the embarrassing prospect of not liking her dress, or buying blindly from the Internet and hoping for the best.  Hiring was an option but seemed very costly, and all the dresses were a bit similar in the “larger sizes”.  When attended by a Bored Saturday Girl, the joy diminished somewhat.  In the end I chose a new dress, and sure enough it did not fit as expected (Bored Saturday Girl: "you must have put on weight") and then cost a further £150 to sort out. The feeling of being elephantine and frankly past it did not help the Dream to flourish.  If I had had access to an easier and cheaper option I would certainly have looked at alternative provision, but I felt that if I bought a dress online, I'd be taking a risk.  "Silk" can mean anything from cheap polyester acetate to finest silk.  Even worse would be offending an original bride in her own home.  This dilemma,  I decided, must be faced by many and that there was a business opportunity to become an agent between sourcing and buying a pre-owned dress.  Taking this opportunity I started to formulate a plan to create a wedding dress agency, and Ribbons and Pearls was born. Having just had to give up my full time job as a Business Start-up Trainer following a back injury and surgery of the female kind, I decided to kindle the idea while I convalesced. In the meantime I bit the bullet and purchased the new dress as I am sure everyone else in the same boat does.

Undeterred the planning continued with the hope that the dress would become stock!

Dressing the Groom and Male Attendants

Next, Top hat and tails for the groom and matching tails for the 5 male attendants.  These were all hired at a reasonable cost.

Next the Bridesmaids

The chosen wedding dress was quite distinctive and standard bridesmaid dresses left my three girls (aged 22, 19 and 16) looking for a way out!

A stroke of luck at a factory outlet gave us three perfect ivory silk skirts and plain corsets, that we imagined adorned with ribbons and corsage in colours to match the dress. 

Later a boned corset was spotted in a high street boutique that would mirror the theme of my skirt and so three of these were purchased, to the delight of the girls.

Cost: £180

Total Cost: £263 (two thirds the cost of three traditional dresses)

Venue

This was a tough one.  The original guest list exceeded 200, and most venues could not cope with this number and prices per head varied from £125 to £50 (the latter if you wanted to serve sausage rolls and not much else), plus additional room hire.  So we considered church halls, and were amazed at the sheer size of some and the beauty of others.  A tentative contact with the key holders revealed that a hall could be hired for £10 an hour or less (compare that to a hotel price!), and there was no obligation to be a member of the congregation. A blessing was suggested, which had not even been considered since we were both divorced.  The local Vicar gave us a ring and a meeting was arranged. We were both surprised at the changes that had taken place within the Church and we were both humbled to be reminded that our promises were to each other in the presence of God, not directly to Him and that a church was the best place to go public with that promise. Although Richard is not religious we were charmed and felt completely accepted - and so it was arranged. Registry Office for the legalities, and God’s House for the public declaration of love.  A blessing, by the way, is virtually identical to a full wedding ceremony, except for the signing of the marriage register.  Instead we signed the church register, so even that was almost the same.

The Church Hall held a maximum 100 guests, complete with tables and seats, and outside there would be room for a further 50.

Registry Office Cost: £60

Church Fees Cost: £300 to include organist, bell ringers and small choir

Church Hall Cost: £160 for 8pm Friday until 9.00am Sunday

Total Cost: £520

Stationery

Invitations were produced and printed at home and duly sent out. Cost Paper, Ink Cartridges, Envelopes, stamps and time.

Cost: £100

Food and Drink

Self Catering for 130 people and getting married at the same time is a daunting prospect even for me, and I feed eight on an average day. It seems that as soon the word "wedding" is mentioned, prices skyrocket, just as if it were a large corporate event. Pricing was not only high, but you didn't get much for your money!  So DIY it was to be.  Someone said that a "hog roast" is very good, and an Internet search found a great company (see our Catering Wedding Services page).  Given that we were self catering, we abandoned the idea of doing vast bowls of salad and potatoes, because the hog roast company was able to supply them too. Cost: £1200

We then had to buy puddings and soft drinks.  By the way, we overdid it on the puddings - you may need fewer than you think! Cost: £400

Then a trip to Calais gave us 40 bottles of recommended Champagne (£8 a bottle and quite as good as any £30 supermarket wine in England), 60 bottles of good wine, and 120 Cans of lager. Cost: £724

A firkin-sized barrel of beer, which is 72 pints. Cost: £80

Euro Tunnel fare Cost: £60

Total Cost: £2464

Flowers

Red roses for the reception and oriental lilies for the church with Gypsophila to pad out. Ordered on line and posted directly in the week before the wedding; 60 lilies, 120 scarlet roses, 25 stems Gypsophila. Additional ribbons and oasis, adhesive tape, corsage pins and bouquet holder. Extra Calla Lilies for bouquet.

Cost: £300

Reception Decoration

Balloons, helium, napkins, rose creams, champagne bubbles, small vases, rose petals, small candle holders and coloured night lights, chiffon swag, ribbons, coloured lanterns, ivy and rose garlands.

Cost: £200

Hired table covers, crockery, cutlery and glasses and chiller buckets with dirty collection service.

Cost: £300

Total Cost: £500

Cake

We were very privileged - as a wedding present, the family made and iced a beautiful three-layer cake.   Cakes made professionally retail average from £200-£500.  So you need to see what special help your family might be able to contribute, and drop hints!

Band

Five members of a local band, enticed with food and beer!  They had the flexibility to allow ad-lib players from the audience to participate in playing should they wish to - and there were quite a few budding rock stars among our guests, all adding to the camaraderie and informality of the day.

Cost: £470

Photography

Being close to 50 makes one a little camera shy, and specialised photographic shots can be the best way to emphasise the best bits and avoid the ugly shots.  There are many levels of photographers from traditional to zany, and I think that you have to meet a few and work out exactly what you want.  Our photographer was a friend who was more than competent.  As a gift to us both he charged only for the raw films and processing. We were very privileged to have such a friend, so shop around - like a good hairdresser,  pay as you can afford and reduce costs elsewhere.

Token Thank-you Presents for Attendants

Cost: £100

Preparation for the Day

Hair and make up were all self applied, the headdress was made from white feathers, and ruby crystal wires came from a craft shop.   A length of veil from the charity shop cut into a six-inch wide three-foot long ribbon that was pinned in.  A Gardenia flower was harvested from a plant bought in the local garden centre, and two roses from the flower selection were added. We had plain taxi cabs to the Registry Office and the Church for all, which saved an absolute fortune, but you might prefer to spend on this item and arrive and leave in style!

Cost: £150

Summary

Overall, the day was regarded by many as one of the most enjoyable weddings they had attended.  We were heavily reliant on key family and friends to help set up the hall and arrange the flowers the night before, the pre-wedding spaghetti bolognaise for 20 (aaghhh!), and 20 amazing family/friend supporters turned out to be a great way to end the set up day. To see a standard Church Hall transformed into a banqueting hall was just amazing, and satisfying to know that it can be done.

Total Wedding Cost £6471

Additional costs would have been incurred with the photographer charge around £500, and the cake wouldn't have come cheap.  But when you investigate your resources, you'll probably have some people who can provide special help too.

Honeymoon

The budget was £2000

7 nights, in a 4 star hotel in Mauritius, Half board £1000, flights claimed on Air Miles but would have been approximately £1300, organised day trips and general spend £900. This was a secret extravagance planned entirely by Richard, and proved to be an absolutely perfect finish to an already perfect celebration. And believe me, you do need to chill out after all that preparation!  I lamented the fact that I had assumed a short Eurobreak and so I was decked out in high heels and a nice suit - 12 hours flying time later I had ankles and feet looking like they had been pumped up like a barrage balloon! We walked into paradise completely exhausted, barefooted (me) but sublimely happy. Our room overlooked a picture-book beach complete with palm trees and white sand; aqua water gently lapping; brightly coloured birds chirruping a welcome and a bed strewn with bougainvillea petals - and a bathroom with fresh hibiscus blossoms adorning the basins and precious yellow oleanders scattered around the bath. A basket of fruit and a bottle of champagne completed the vision, and a wonderful week began in earnest.

Total cost £3200 (oops!)

Total Cost £9.671 all in.

£10,000 is no small amount in anyone’s estimation.  But with a plan and a few helpful friends, and a few lucky breaks, it can be done properly to a set budget. I have heard many horror stories of double this amount and one wonders if that is really the best start to a new life, in the fall out after the confetti has long gone, and the recrimination begins!  Keep it simple, and as with everything, if you can’t afford it you can usually do without it or come up with a less expensive alternative. It's tough to swallow when you are a young princess, but immensely satisfying in competitive middle age when there is a touch more realism added to the fantasy!

Minimise the financial hangover

Plan your ideal day on paper (Richard says "a spreadsheet"!).  Ask friends and relatives for ideas and input - maybe someone you know has access to a cheaper supplier or can help with something that would normally cost you a fortune.

Source products on line: there are many discounted suppliers operating through media such as eBay, and local supplier networks are available to the public as well as those in the trade. Take a look at our Wedding Services pages for dozens of ideas.

Ask for a discount - you'd be amazed what people will do if you just ask!

Shop around for good prices, and get at least two quotes on everything. Minimise the expense and maximise the day.